Hard Times

Hard times ahead? What about-NOW?
So, it's 11 pm on chilly Sunday night, on the eve of Halloween.
We find ourselves in the parking lot, of St. Pius Catholic Church
in Buena Park, CA.
Because of my daughters getting into a routine argument, this time about one trying to hand me a sweater so my head can rest back.
Since I'm in the front seat, she tries reaching it across to me, but in
doing so, it smacks my daughter's eye. She was startled and sure, it must have hurt! But, all in all, it was an accident!
So, the father addressed both of their bickering.
As a result, he blasts Metallica of all sorts and if you're not a fan
of their's, this sure aint gonna make you be!
So, this heated explosion brings my husband to seek for answers from the higher calling.

Higher calling responded with a powerful message:
Help yourself, because others won't help you.
PERIOD.
He throws his tantrum and we are all in tears, petrified
with what he'll do. He parks, then get's out of the car,
and heads for the entrance of the church.
Me, being the 'strong' one, was trembling inside, but, my
children are present and they've witnessed enough crud in these last days
to add one more to the collection.
After what seemed like an eternity, the windows are fogging up and it
starts feeling like a steam bath. My girls start asking the, "where's
daddy?"
I assumed he had made it inside the church and was seeking a private
session with a priest @ midnight! Not able to hold my pee any longer, I call him up. He finally answers the phone and returns to the car.
He sits down in his seat for a few, then speaks. "I got my answer." He says in his usual soft spoken words. He begins explaining what had just occured.
"I go to approach the church, expecting to find a priest to talk to"--
his usual assumption, that people are waiting at his beckon call, betrays
him again!
"Instead,there's an old woman, lying down 'waiting' for help.
She is wrapped in a very light blanket, wearing a pink dress and has a
bag with her." He continues to tell me, "like us, she is not alone, she has family, but yet, they are not willing to help her."
He breaks down crying and shows our children the lady, as we drive past her in our car.
I face straight ahead, and yet not facing anywhere. I was too numb to look over. Numb from the cold. Numb from the situation that we're facing. Numb from the heartlessness of people.
Just internally numb.
"I gave her my only $10 dollar bill, and told her God bless. She didn't respond. How could she when she's on God's grounds-at church and nobody will help her? She thought that I was going to kick her out."

Unfortunately, I feel the pain-physically and emotionally.
I've carried the 'rejection' feeling all my life.
Family? Ya, plenty of them. For them, within them.
I'm only good for 'Emergency/As needed basis.' I'm 'per diem' to them.
My only love in the 'family'-my grandmother, whom too has her favorites, and it's certainly, NOT I!
Since the family, 'all works' and I don't(which I don't, I just stay at home and play 'house' all day), I get the 'can you please come watch mom'
call. It hurts and I just wanna yell, but to whom?
She has kids, who have kids, yet it is I who answers the call unconditionally.
Hard times, huh? Ya, but they are happening NOW, my friends.
Let's be human to eachother.

Confront reality

So, let's talk. Today was a 'grand day'--a grand day of yuckiness.

Let's start by figuring it out: What caused it? The energy in the air?

rudeness of people? Um, let me think--people.

So, I wish I could 'confront reality', but yet, I'm not quite there yet. Hopefully soon I will be.
Remember all the talk about 'Be Human' and such. Respect is a two way street. Well, I wish this applied to all. It seems as if these days would be enough to get me to 'just vomit' what I feel, but, not even close! Why? Why have I chosen to not confront reality and save my own sanity? Plain and simply, because of all the emotional pain I'm going through, doesn't warrant an explanation to anybody about the tremendous pressures I'm facing and those very people will just turn it around--"Geez what crawled up her butt?" THEM!

So, do you confront reality or do you just bite your tongue and keep the supposed peace? Be Human to yourself as well...

Animal survival

So, life's complicated-ya? Well, as much as it is complicated, the complications add up for a dog;A dog who's been hit;A dog who's been hit by a car and can't move;A dog that's been hit by a car and can't move is sitting in middle of highway/street;A dog who's been hit by a car and can't move is sitting in middle of highway/street staring at cars flying past him;A dog who's been hit by a car and can't move is sitting in middle of highway/street staring at cars flying past him;A dog who's been hit by a car and can't move is sitting in middle of highway/street staring at cars flying past him and...

Get the point? It's complicated! Poor dog. Oh the complications of being human, but heck, there's some serious deliberation as to who can challenge this moment. So, he get's slammed and he's down for the count. As he sits and 'waits'--for what, well, he can't move. Suddenly another dog is scene dashing down side of highway/street and one can only stare in horror. Well, ya, of course. No need to squint your eyes in horror for the next few seconds of these dogs lives! Trucks, cars, large and small, travel past the dogs, as the dog walking alongside; risks all he has to rescue the injured animal. Simply magical to see this in the video. He clutches the injured animal with his teeth, and with all his might, exirts strength with each pull of the injured animal. He does so for three or four times, before workers show up to the 'rescue.' So, if this is what animals do for one another, why as the human species can we just injure the affected one some more? Curious thought! Way to go China with the video released of beyond grotesquely injured human child. Uhh, how heartwrenching to just think it through. Dispicable. Best of all, dog(s) survived. Who's to say if little girl,as who was gonna pay for her medical attention Just disgusting...and I'm still in survival mode! Be well out there and be human. My deep thought and prayers To all those affected or family and friends are affected by today's eartquake mess in Turkey...

How to solution a problem?

Oh man! Talk about feeling the blues! Are you confrontational?
Do you live your life like the "better person" and bite your tongue to prevent "further" problems?
What to feel. What to say when one of your loved one's spreads impious comments about you?
Do you confront the situation about your honor and integrity? Will you always run after the source by trying to correct the untrue statements about you?

Oh man! What to do,what to say? Should I just ignore it? How to solution this problem?

I'm one of those, "too polite" and honest and just, dang well rounded people. Sucks for me as there aren't very many out there, apparently!
I like to take walks on the beach to feel the ethereal power. I stick to my life and don't impose on others. But, that's not how it works!
This week has hit me like a 10 ft high wave to my ego and person. I can't keep friends, I can't make professional contacts, because I'm just, 'too polite.'
Heck, and then I get questioned from a loved one about my supposed involvement with another situation, and it's like, "what now?"
So, tell me, what would you do or how do you handle your situations?
Remember, Be human guys. I know I do.

Negativity and Payback

Ethereal, peace, love, positive energy, that's all I emit.
But, what if you find out from someone that you care about, that someone else said something to tarnish your image? They want to throw one's track off and interrupt by what someone of interest says or does to me---errrrr! The skid marks are present. The hair on the back of my neck stands on point. My sensitive radar is present...and I keep going.

Ha! What better payback than that.

Envy, malocchio--I laugh in the face of SOMEONE wanting to damage my integrity.

Be Human Positive energy folks Peace and Love

Stop the bullying

I hope some kids are smiling this week as so many efforts are underway against bullying, but I know so many millions of kids who aren't. Here, I haven't tackled the disgusting conversation so as to keep this as much positive reinforcement and not forgetting to Be Human all around, however, it was time I focused a bit on this here. Case of Disappearing Tire Gunk, gives us all the opportunity to shed the gunk that lies within, causing us to manifest and harm others with ways that we have been harmed. We've all been bullied in one way or another, but it's time to face the reality that the one's doing it, are hurting in some way, thus the reason they have anything to say. Anything they say is bad and hurtful--all they've been faced with. Their source of getting attention is bad attention and to them, that's more than they've received. Bad attention to them, is better than no attention at all. Pretty ironic, yet true. Stop the bullying and Be human to one another.
EMPOWER KIDS BY BELIEVING IN THEMSELVES.
BE HUMAN

Oh what to do

Ozzy Osbourne signing book @ Barnes&Noble in Riverside or watch a film on 'Braceros'--Oh, what to do! Pretty sad the opposite spectrums of life. I'm still haunted by the images and storyline of what human's must endure for the chance at a better living. The film of the Braceros, exposes the non known facts of these humen, or Mexican immigrants brought in to do the US's dirty work. Hellacious images of men being sprayed down with DDT, a type of Malathion spray. From there, they get a 'gentle' rub down, ya if you're cattle, have a doc's fingers shoved up their private's, to the point of causing some to faint. Very heartwrenching to see what humanity has done and will continue to do for eternity. Oh what to do...

What to do

What to do with 'what'? What to do with 'just that?' What- are we to do?
Live, suffer, then die? How about living now to eventually die and not the other way around? How about living day by day, as if today was going to be the last day on Earth, instead of dying in the physical body to attain 'living' when one retires. Who's to say we'll be around to enjoy the retirement phase of our life? Of course, one must have a "nest egg" of sorts--but how much that you can't enjoy using some of it for a pleasure or 3 day refresher?
I'm still awaiting on the 'what to do' phase of my life! An opp to allow me to know I will have a nest egg later. It's like, I'm alive for the ride and dead for the ride. I don't await on the 'what to do,' I am in the process of making my 'what to do!' What are you to do? Whatever it may be, do it with your heart and do it with effort. Tenacity+effort=success
Be human is what to do...

Hard to be nice?

I'm finding it harder and harder to want to be nice! Are you?
I keep running into difficult situations that just make me go--grrrr!
But........as my favorite movie, "Enchanted," one of the character's best lines, just doesn't let me, "Oh! I'm angry!" clenching her fists tight, and smiling while she softly speaks the "angry" words! Oh! It's so wonderful!

Why can't we all feel like this movie? Why can't my emotions rub off on people, the way I naturally tend to be? I'm surrounded by posers and phonies, and it's so--grrrr! And I wish I could show how angry they truly make me feel! I just continue to turn my cheek and know deep down "I'm just made better!" I have too much heart. I know my past has a speckle of it's own, but NICE, I have always been. It's not hard to be nice, or is it?
Please Be Human to eachother. As a friend's book best says it, "Be Nice or Else!" Awesome book to live by. A manual on just how to live by Winn Claybaugh. Live by the standards of all human existance--Treat others the way you want to be treated. And there you have it. Happy co-existing, while I continue to enjoy being "Enchanted..."